If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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