i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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