kristin has been a bad kristin
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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