I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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