The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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