I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
high people should be assigned attendants
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
