Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
