I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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