DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
