not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
