If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
