maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
