Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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