Porn is love you can see.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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