question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize