Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
