His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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