don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
birth control should be required to get into college
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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