I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
someone owes me an orgasm
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
