First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i dont even know how to be here
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
