This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
