she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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