Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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