Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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