I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
