Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
