My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
