last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
it was like eating out sand paper
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
