The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
