is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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