there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
