What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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