she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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