even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize