Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
