So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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