ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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