I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize