Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
