Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
