Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
