I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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