I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
