the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
