You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
