It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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