Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
