I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i drank out of a bidet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
