And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
