Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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