He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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