The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize