too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
