I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
