and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
