This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
