Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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