if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
