He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
